Hey, dumb Americans, did all this poly-tikkin' going on have you worried you were going to have to get the fuck out of the Applebee's booth and start paying attention to the world around you? Well you just stay put and order another helping of the crispy cheesy chili crab salsa rolls—the world is coming to you!
By now you've hopefully seen the ad for Dan Akroyd's Crystal Head Vodka. It's eight minute long, and filled with crazy nonsense about the occult and psuedo-science and water from Finland.
While some are speculating that it's an early viral video for Ghostbusters 3, it seems that there hasn't even been casting, or an entire script, written for that film yet.
Exactly one week after they released an ad proclaiming John McCain had won the presidential debate before it had even happened, the obnoxious deceivers at the McCain camp today dropped this gem, an ad fawning over Sarah Palin with A QUOTE TO BE ATTRIBUTED TO SOMEONE AT A LATER TIME!
See the full-sized propaganda machine below, as it appeared on the Washington Post's site:
Have you ever called one of those Asian massage parlors in the back of The Village Voice or amNewYork? Of course you have. But you were just looking for a nice stress reliever, and then that woman took off all your clothes and what is she doing with her mouth and uh-oh, too late.
Well, the editors at amNewYork at least, want to make sure that you never accidentally recieve a happy ending from a place that advertised in their pages.
Guess who's Twittering? "Sarah Palin is the new Annie Oakley . This is the essence of her appeal. The feisty, gun-slinging Western gal who can do anything a man can." [Twitter]
"FNC averaged 11,098,000 Total Viewers during last night's vice presidential debate, most among the cable networks and the highest viewership in the network's 12 year history. CNN averaged 10,685,000, and MSNBC averaged 4,412,000." [TVN]
Ah-nuld is begging the U.S. Treasury for $7 billion for the worsening economic crisis in the state of California…not that much money, considering what's been going on over in D.C. this week. Too bad he didn't come a day earlier so legislatures could just tack it onto the rest of America's rescue package:
Having graduated from Syracuse University and, while there, tried my hardest to make a mockery of its j-school (the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications), it brings me great sadness to learn the home of the Orangement might ban sex and slander site JuicyCampus.com from its network.
The U.S. House of Representatives took a second turn voting for the bailout rescue package today, which they vetoed on Monday causing stocks to plummet and yada yada yada. Where have you been all week, some sort of debate crash camp?
The Lifetime channel is making it very clear that it's sick and tired of being a punchline B-list comediennes use when talking about what they do when they get dumped or are on their periods.
First the network sneakily snatched away Bravo's trendy reality program Project Runway. Now it's delving even deeper into the hip fashion game with a new original reality series, Blush: The Search for the Next Great Makeup Artist. Because culture just doesn't celebrate the useless but moneymaking fashion industry enough!
Oh Rachael Ray. You seem to have escaped your reported demise, slid through terrorism charges unscathed, feuded with Rosie O'Donnell to live another day, and survived speculation about the security of your marriage.
Finally, Sarah Palin will have to answer questions about her disastrous interview with Katie Couric. Except whoops, she's doing it on Fox News, and the big revelation is that she seemed flustered and ill-prepared because she was annoyed that Katie wasn't asking the right questions. The questions the American People wanted to hear!
Watch after the jump, and decide for yourself if this is what you've been waiting for a politician to say all your life:
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